10 Things It Took Me 50 Years To Learn

1. Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."
3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
4. You should not confuse your career with your life.
5. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.
6. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
7. Never lick a steak knife.
8. The most powerful force in the universe is gossip.
9. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.
10. Your friends love you, anyway.